Jack Benny quotes: wise famous quotes, sayings and quotations by Jack Benny

Jack Benny Famous Quotes & Sayings

Discover top inspirational quotes from Jack Benny on Wise Famous Quotes.

I'm like Will Rogers, I never met a man I didn't like ... well, Eichmann maybe.

When another comedian has a lousy show, I'm the first one to admit it.

Try to save something while your salary is small; it's impossible to save after you begin to earn more.

I went to a meeting for premature ejactulators. I left early.

No matter how often I tell people I'm thirty-nine some of them refuse to believe I'm that old.

Age is mind over matter. If you don't mind it doesn't matter.

Modesty is my best quality.

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.

I was born in Waukegan a long, long time ago. As a matter of fact, our rabbi was an Indian.

A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck dressed like a kid.

It's not so much knowing when to speak, when to pause.

I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but all I can say is: when I go, they go too.

The only way I'll ever get hurt in the casino is if there's an earthquake and a slot machine falls on my foot.

There's only five real people in Hollywood. Everyone else is Mel Blanc.

I practice three hours daily on my violin so I won't get worse.

I was going to buy my girl a Packard car for Christmas, but it took too long to deliver, so I bought her some handkerchiefs.

I took my girl to dinner, and she laughed so hard at one of my jokes that she dropped her tray.

A rich man is one who isn't afraid to ask the salesperson to show him something cheaper.

Everything good that happened to me happened by accident.

If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

Try saving when your salary is low. So after making more money, you will not be able to do this anywhere

I'm an old newspaper-man myself, but I quit because I found there was no money in old newspapers.

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.

Any man who would walk five miles through the snow, barefoot, just to return a library book so he could save three cents - that's my kind of guy.